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Monday, 27 January 2014

Solitudes- on a foggy evening

and some (loose) thoughts on solitude!!
We've had some foggy weather this winter and I quite like the  solitude and silence of it. I love the spectral look of trees and how people and cars appear and disappear into the drifting cloud vapours that have lost their way and fallen from the sky to the ground. I love getting lost in the fog.

 I am an introvert, no two ways about it. I basically force myself to socialize. I love the peace in silence and would have probably felt at home in a cloister -but - maybe not. Perhaps I would have preferred being a hermit communing with the animals and nature all day long. However, I also know I would have made regular trips into town to attend a symphony and other cultural events, or just plain shopping, - and possibly sometimes stopping at the local pub for a cup of good cheer which inevitably induces a bit of sociability and loquaciousness! My poor daughter had to put up with my moods and she is totally the opposite, a social creature who can't live without company and is always driving people here and there, doing favours for friends and loves mega concerts, parties and the planning of them.
the spectral playground
 According to Meyers Briggs Personality test I am one of the rarer types, an INFP. The description of this type is "the idealist." They are able to express themselves in writing quite well. In my own experience when faced with "difficult" situations face to face I usually "say" something inappropriate on the spur of the moment as opposed to breathing and letting emotions dissipate -you know the old joke, trying to think of a witty rejoinder and ending up telling the person to "go file under carnal knowledge themselves". I suppose I have not reached enlightenment just yet.
Along the Estuary



One writer has said “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

If I go on this premise as opposed to being someone who enjoys her own company then I suppose I would have to consider myself a "failed romantic" because if you are cursed with idealism then you must be prepared to be disappointed again and again and few of us are prepared for that. Yet it is in going one step further and the letting go of those expectations we have of ourselves and others that we do find the true peace and compassion in our true selves and the true selves of others.
the old abandoned schoolhouse

 And as time goes by I become more philosophical. .

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing 
there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about - Rumi 
the solitary road

After all it is in silence and contemplation that one can find the divine.

Thursday, 23 January 2014

A new day and another reason to believe

The Sorcerer's Garden   Craigflower Farm series

Thank you Alanis Morrisette

When I came out of the hospital yesterday your song was playing in my head and which inspired me to sing my own thanks.

Thank you beautiful daughter for sharing our exciting journey far away this last summer, for keeping me organized and on time and for sharing a pint of Guinness in County Clare and  Dublin, tramping through the Orkneys and much more.

and my brother  whom I visited in the Okanagan a week ago and though he has been going through a painful life change  is still committed to helping kids play sports as a coach and mentor and giving back something to the community. At Christmas he and his son collected toys and visited  a few people who were struggling, trying to ensure that as many as possible would have good cheer and to share his own blessings and the good fortune which he knows can be fleeting.  He had time to take me on a little road trip and up to Apex mountain showing me all the winter beauty of the valley with it's lakes, mountains and hills.  I took lots of photos  but only a few worthy ones  http://gatewaysandjourneys.blogspot.ca/
Thank you Brother

and my sister who never ceases to amaze me with her paintings of local scenes in the gulf islands, her boundless energy, her steadfastness, her love of children and who always stood up for me.
Thank you Sister

a sweet brother, crazy dreamer who made us stained glass birds, played us music, made us laugh and then made us cry but your joyful spirit will always remain in our hearts. You are missed. "Everybody hurts, hold on, hold on."
Thank you dear bro

Thank you children for your wonder and beauty and for letting me share a small part of your adventures as you grow on this amazing planet.

Thank you mom and dad, grandparents, relatives who may be gone but that all touched us in important ways , that let us know that we were part of a larger community of family, cousins and friends -  a mom with  a loving sense of duty and a stoicism in the face of life's adversities and also humour,  and a dad with a sense of art and wonder, a childlike enthusiasm and a powerful chi,  a granddad who taught me to sing, and another who took me to the opera!
Thank you.

Thank you faith, and brother Jesus, brother Francis, brother Buddha and Ghandi and others, who have taught me to step outside myself, and that there is so much more.

I didn't always follow my heart.  Sometimes I second guessed myself and went down paths that lead nowhere. As Carlos Castaneda said, a path must have heart. Sometimes I gave in to the darkness and to despair.
Thank you light

Thank you for my sorrows and difficulties which made me appreciate more those shining moments. Thank you for the fears, the disappointments and grief where I had to regroup and rethink my priorities- and where I had to learn to let go, wipe away the tears and see further.
Thank you

Thank you for a clean bill of health during this last (and somewhat painful) procedure at the hospital. I was very anxious and thank goodness for drugs lol.
Thank you painkillers and selfless nurses and doctors!

Thank you to all who happened into my time and space on this earth, a few who became dear friends. It was no accident.

Thank you for this humble little life so full of terror and magic,  and thank you for the star dust that is in us all.
Thank you for the peace there is in letting go

Thank you for letting me start again and again

"We could learn to stop when the sun goes down and when the sun comes up. We could learn to listen to the wind; we could learn to notice that it’s raining or snowing or hailing or calm. We could reconnect with the weather that is ourselves, and we could realize that it’s sad. The sadder it is, and the vaster it is, the more our heart opens. We can stop thinking that good practice is when it’s smooth and calm, and bad practice is when it’s rough and dark. If we can hold it all in our hearts, then we can make a proper cup of tea."
(Wisdom of No Escape)- Pema Chodron

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Okanagan Valley Winter

a breath of fresh winter!!
Next to Vancouver Island my next favourite place just happens to be where my brother lives in the beautiful Okanagan, between the two lakes and at the meeting place of the winds.

They actually enjoy winter there and it was lovely to get away from the damp fog of the west coast with it's rainy storms and head up there where they can have fog too in winter because of the lakes,  but it is a frosty fog and you will find snow on the ground and iced lakes.

Reflections on a crystal dawn

For more Beautiful BC photos of my Okanagan trip click


Monday, 6 January 2014

An afternoon at Fort Rodd Hill

Please view this post at the link below.   I thought it might be more appropriate on the journeys blog.

For more history and photos of this beautiful spot visit this page at Gateways and Journeys