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Monday, 27 January 2014

Solitudes- on a foggy evening

and some (loose) thoughts on solitude!!
We've had some foggy weather this winter and I quite like the  solitude and silence of it. I love the spectral look of trees and how people and cars appear and disappear into the drifting cloud vapours that have lost their way and fallen from the sky to the ground. I love getting lost in the fog.

 I am an introvert, no two ways about it. I basically force myself to socialize. I love the peace in silence and would have probably felt at home in a cloister -but - maybe not. Perhaps I would have preferred being a hermit communing with the animals and nature all day long. However, I also know I would have made regular trips into town to attend a symphony and other cultural events, or just plain shopping, - and possibly sometimes stopping at the local pub for a cup of good cheer which inevitably induces a bit of sociability and loquaciousness! My poor daughter had to put up with my moods and she is totally the opposite, a social creature who can't live without company and is always driving people here and there, doing favours for friends and loves mega concerts, parties and the planning of them.
the spectral playground
 According to Meyers Briggs Personality test I am one of the rarer types, an INFP. The description of this type is "the idealist." They are able to express themselves in writing quite well. In my own experience when faced with "difficult" situations face to face I usually "say" something inappropriate on the spur of the moment as opposed to breathing and letting emotions dissipate -you know the old joke, trying to think of a witty rejoinder and ending up telling the person to "go file under carnal knowledge themselves". I suppose I have not reached enlightenment just yet.
Along the Estuary



One writer has said “Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”

If I go on this premise as opposed to being someone who enjoys her own company then I suppose I would have to consider myself a "failed romantic" because if you are cursed with idealism then you must be prepared to be disappointed again and again and few of us are prepared for that. Yet it is in going one step further and the letting go of those expectations we have of ourselves and others that we do find the true peace and compassion in our true selves and the true selves of others.
the old abandoned schoolhouse

 And as time goes by I become more philosophical. .

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing 
there is a field.
I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about - Rumi 
the solitary road

After all it is in silence and contemplation that one can find the divine.

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